Posted on August 8, 2014
Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life
Negative self-talk is toxic to your true potential. When talking to yourself or about yourself, do you ever hear words that leave you feeling sick, unhappy or rejected? Isn’t it time you started to talk to yourself the way you talk to everyone else?
Let’s get to know this negative self-talk so we can learn to how change it into positive self-talk. It’s time to treat your self the way you deserve to be treated.
You may be asking, what is self-talk?
Self-talk is that voice you often hear in your head, your internal thoughts. It interprets what you perceive and has a constant dialogue internally. Sometimes we will even share this dialogue externally with those around us.
How do you know if it’s impact is positive or negative?
There are many ways to analyze the self-talk, but I tend to pay attention to how it makes me feel. Does what your am saying to yourself feel exciting and joyful or does it leave you feeling drained and unhappy? This can be challenging to uncover, but I will get into that more in a minute.
It takes compassion to look at your negative thoughts.
From my experience as a coach and even working through my own experiences, I have noticed that the self-talk often stems from perceptions to our past experiences. The perception of your experience created thoughts which had a purpose at the time, usually trying to protect you from something. It is simply a perception that hasn’t grown or changed with you and now impacts your self-talk.
When working with clients, I often hear self-talk come across with a sense of certainty. These are thoughts in our minds, right? So we believe them to be true. But are they REALLY true?
We perceive them to be true because we have said them over and over in our minds. For example, the past relationship that seems to reoccur with every new one because it is the way you are; the unwanted weight that continues to weigh you down because you can’t stop eating treats; the job you can’t get because you’ll never know enough. These are all perceptions you hold about yourself, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
You CAN change your perceptions and self talk!
1. Listen for those words that seem so real, but don’t feel good. When do you find yourself getting down on yourself about something? Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.
2. Then notice, what I am saying to myself right now? Once you start to hear it you will notice it when it shows up. Just like that awesome car you want to buy and suddenly see it everywhere. Your awareness changes.
3. Take the time to acknowledge it. What does it stem from? When did you first start saying this to yourself? What do you believe about this? Is it still protecting you from something?
4. Create a new dialogue. This is extremely important to trust yourself here. What do you really want to hear yourself say? What feels better?
5. Now Say It! When ever you hear that old broken record come into your thoughts, STOP, and put on the new track! Liberate your thoughts into what feels really good for you.
Even if your new dialogue feels awkward at first, please give it time. Play with it and see how you feel. Remember to allow it to change as your perceptions change. Your greatest potential is waiting for you in your positive self-talk!
I’d love to hear your ‘thoughts’ on this! What is your experience with your self-talk? Please share your comments.
Do you find this challenging? Working together could help you break those barriers into the happier, healthier you! Contact me!
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Thank you and happy thoughts everyone!