Posted on July 3, 2018
Communication Is Key
At some point in my youth, I fell into a pattern of fear. Fear of speaking my truth… my feelings… my needs. I am certain now that it was in a way of coping with those challenging feelings of growing up, but it also left me somewhat disconnected from how I truly felt and what I needed for quite some time.
Though I have made great strides over the years in connecting with my feelings, listening to my heart, and learning to speak my truth, I can still tend to fall back into that place of fear. It’s a place of comfort and protection from creating ripples in my external world.
Sometimes our feelings and needs can impact those we care about. For me, this is where it gets hard. I never want to hurt those I love, but if I stay silent, then I hurt myself. I’ve thought about this a lot. How do we find that tender point of balance between sharing what we need to say, and honouring the feelings of those we’re sharing with?
I remember a conversation I had with my partner a few years back when we were trying to figure out ways to communicate with his children. We wanted to connect with them in a way that they could feel our intention in our words, and not just tell them what to do. It came to us that children live in the space of their hearts, while we as adults often live in the space of our minds. If we want to connect with them in meaningful ways, we needed to communicate from our hearts to theirs… heart to heart, not mind to heart.
I still use this, especially when I need to communicate my feelings and needs, because they arise within the heart. The challenge emerges when my “powerful mind” comes up with all the horror stories about how sharing my needs will only hurt the other person, how I will lose love, and be left all alone.
The mind can have a lot of influence, but when we can realize this and drop our awareness back into our heart, we settle into a space of connection.
Communication is a form of connection, and connection lives in the heart. So unless I am using a communication style of anger, projection, or fear, which don’t come from the heart and only create separation; then my words from my heart will come from a place of love and this will connect my heart with the heart of the person I am communicating with.
A few months ago I found myself having a hard time communicating about some important feelings. I knew this was happening because I could feel it all bottling up inside. I felt scared and cut off from the flow of connection, trust, and love. As I’ve learned, this is a signal when I need to take some time to care for and connect to my heart. This self-care act opens me up to trust in and love for myself. Once I re-connect in this way, I am better able to relay my needs with compassion for myself and those I am sharing with.
I’ll admit it can feel scary and vulnerable, sharing your heart’s deep-seated needs, but the act of honouring your self in this way shows true love and compassion, and builds connection with the world around you.
Those relationships that are truly supportive and loving, will receive the words with their heart, and bonds grow stronger.
Now when I feel those fears of communicating my needs show up I remember to tap into my heart, and seek the heart of the other, and know that this internal connection will open the door. For without communication, we have no connection.
Communicating heart to heart is the key to true connection. Tweet this!
How often do you hold yourself back from speaking your truth? Are you connecting with your needs in your heart?
Don’t keep your feelings bottled up, find your heart, and speak from this space of compassion and connection.