Posted on November 1, 2016
Give Yourself Permission
There is something you keep thinking of doing, but every time you consider taking action you feel guilty, afraid, or unsure. Maybe it’s been a long time dream or something more recent in your heart. Notice, how are you holding yourself back?
Take a moment to reflect on this inner desire, this recurring dream. When did it start? What is your expected result? What keeps you standing still when you think about it? And mostly, what’s important to you about it? You may be able to answer these, or perhaps the answers are a little cloudy. It’s okay.
I’d like to share with you a story about how I have been holding myself back and what I needed to actually take action. I hope it inspires you to check in and hopefully take action for yourself.
Over the past 4 years I have gone through a lot of transition, from work, to where I live, to how I live. And I absolutely love the changes, however part of my mindset has been stuck in the past. You see I changed my career, from a daytime job structure to self-employed. I moved across the country and did a complete 180˚ flip in my daily lifestyle. Self-employed work, has a very different feel in daily structure than “9-5” work. Yet, I have been stuck in this mindset of daytime job productivity, even though my work leads into the evenings, and sometimes even the weekends. When I am not productive all day long, I have had this self-destructive mindset that keeps showing up. “I’m not productive unless I am busy“. Which has caused me to often fill in my time with busy work. This busy work rarely feels fulfilling. So between lack of productivity and forcing myself to be busy, I have had feelings of guilt and sadness sitting within myself.
You see, in my heart I want to explore on hikes and go for walks during the day. One thing I love about this province, is you drive down the highway and there are cars parked in random spots, and I keep wondering, what amazing trails are they out discovering? Nova Scotia a beautiful province with so much nature to experience!
So, In my heart I know that a soul-rejuvenating walk or hike in the middle of the day would serve me well. What then is stopping me from doing this?
There is a bit of fear of walking down a trail I’ve never been on, by myself, but that fear also shares a twinge of excitement. The answer that really struck me though was that I felt like I needed permission from someone to go out and do it (like a boss, but I am my boss!). And that was it… I needed permission.
As an almost 40-year-old adult, why would I need permission from anyone to go do something I want to do? I decided to talk with my partner about this. I also felt a bit guilty going off on a hike when he was home working, but he had absolutely no concerns with me taking the time to do this and actually encouraged it. So that couldn’t be the barrier.
So I asked myself again, okay so now what is stopping you? My answer? Back to allowing myself the time to do it.
I remember back in the days of working at the bank, wondering how are all of these people out and about in the middle of the day? Why am I stuck behind these walls, this desk? How could I have that type of freedom for myself? Well, I finally have it, and didn’t even realize it, until NOW.
As I work with giving myself permission to go on walks or hikes, I make them part of my priorities, as a task. It feels amazing to breath in the freshness of the fall air. I’ve walked on a nearby trail a few times, hiked along the coast of Peggy’s Cove, and am excited to find more treasures for exploring.
Taking this time for myself is rejuvenating. My body feels healthy moving, and being alone with my thoughts while walking is grounding. As a whole, I feel more connected to my soul. Plus, I find the more I do this, the better state of being I am in for my work. Knowing these definitely encourages me to make this time happen, but most importantly, I have to remember to keep Giving Myself Permission.
I hope this story of permission entices something with in you.
So I will ask you again… What have you wanted to do, but have not actually gave yourself permission to do? Why is it important to you and what would you need to make it happen?
I’d love to hear from you! Comment or send me an email about your inner struggle with permission or anything else holding you back.
Keep noticing… when you fight the flow, you stay stuck. Allow, accept, and always give yourself permission!