Give Yourself Permission

There is something you keep thinking of doing, but every time you consider taking action you feel guilty, afraid, or unsure. Maybe it’s been a long time dream or something more recent in your heart. Notice, how are you holding yourself back?

Take a moment to reflect on this inner desire, this recurring dream. When did it start? What is your expected result? What keeps you standing still when you think about it? And mostly, what’s important to you about it? You may be able to answer these, or perhaps the answers are a little cloudy. It’s okay.

I’d like to share with you a story about how I have been holding myself back and what I needed to actually take action. I hope it inspires you to check in and hopefully take action for yourself.

Over the past 4 years I have gone through a lot of transition, from work, to where I live, to how I live. And I absolutely love the changes, however part of my mindset has been stuck in the past. You see I changed my career, from a daytime job structure to self-employed. I moved across the country and did a complete 180˚ flip in my daily lifestyle. Self-employed work, has a very different feel in daily structure than “9-5” work. Yet, I have been stuck in this mindset of daytime job productivity, even though my work leads into the evenings, and sometimes even the weekends. When I am not productive all day long, I have had this self-destructive mindset that keeps showing up. “I’m not productive unless I am busy“. Which has caused me to often fill in my time with busy work. This busy work rarely feels fulfilling. So between lack of productivity and forcing myself to be busy, I have had feelings of guilt and sadness sitting within myself.

You see, in my heart I want to explore on hikes and go for walks during the day. One thing I love about this province, is you drive down the highway and there are cars parked in random spots, and I keep wondering, what amazing trails are they out discovering? Nova Scotia a beautiful province with so much nature to experience!

So, In my heart I know that a soul-rejuvenating walk or hike in the middle of the day would serve me well. What then is stopping me from doing this?

There is a bit of fear of walking down a trail I’ve never been on, by myself, but that fear also shares a twinge of excitement. The answer that really struck me though was that I felt like I needed permission from someone to go out and do it (like a boss, but I am my boss!). And that was it… I needed permission.

As an almost 40-year-old adult, why would I need permission from anyone to go do something I want to do? I decided to talk with my partner about this. I also felt a bit guilty going off on a hike when he was home working, but he had absolutely no concerns with me taking the time to do this and actually encouraged it. So that couldn’t be the barrier.give-yourself-permission

So I asked myself again, okay so now what is stopping you? My answer? Back to allowing myself the time to do it.

I remember back in the days of working at the bank, wondering how are all of these people out and about in the middle of the day? Why am I stuck behind these walls, this desk? How could I have that type of freedom for myself? Well, I finally have it, and didn’t even realize it, until NOW.

As I work with giving myself permission to go on walks or hikes, I make them part of my priorities, as a task. It feels amazing to breath in the freshness of the fall air. I’ve walked on a nearby trail a few times, hiked along the coast of Peggy’s Cove, and am excited to find more treasures for exploring.

Taking this time for myself is rejuvenating.  My body feels healthy moving, and being alone with my thoughts while walking is grounding. As a whole, I feel more connected to my soul. Plus, I find the more I do this, the better state of being I am in for my work. Knowing these definitely encourages me to make this time happen, but most importantly, I have to remember to keep Giving Myself Permission.

I hope this story of permission entices something with in you.

So I will ask you again… What have you wanted to do, but have not actually gave yourself permission to do? Why is it important to you and what would you need to make it happen?

I’d love to hear from you! Comment or send me an email about your inner struggle with permission or anything else holding you back.

Keep noticing… when you fight the flow, you stay stuck. Allow, accept, and always give yourself permission!

xo,
Brenda

Make Your Dreams A Reality!

Today I saw a dream become reality and was it ever amazing!

My partner has been dreaming of flying a plane for many years. He has played flight simulators among other flying games for most of his life. Over the past few years since I have known him, his pursuit of his dreams has been humbling, yet extraordinary. If only we could all do what he’s doing.

You see the year after I met him, he decided it was time to learn the guitar. To his delight, with practice and dedication he can now play many songs he enjoys. Then as he looked out over the bay where we live, his long time dream of sailing became ever-present. He couldn’t wait any longer, he had to get out on the water. One year after we took a sailing course we bought a sail boat. And now I’d call us semi-intermediate sailers!

Now today! He set out on his next growth adventure, to fly a plane. I could feel my heart jumping with joy as he called to shared his exciting news about the flight. His voice was elated and his energy came right through the phone! It was more than he could express in words. This speaks such awesome truth to me.

When we feed our dreams with intention, practice and pursuit, we can achieve so much more than we may have ever thought possible!

Here’s the thing, if you have a dream, you need to take steps to fulfill it. Even if it is only seems like small steps, such as a flight simulator. Only by stepping into the experience will you gain an understanding of the power of your dreams.  From there, your inner power ignites and opens you to life changing realities!

What dreams are you holding on to that need your attention and action? Why wait any longer?

To bring attention to the other side of the coin, sometimes it is hard to recognize our dreams. Maybe they have been hidden for so long, we just can’t seem to see them anymore. If this is the case for you, it’s helpful to notice the things that excite you or dig back into your younger years and remember the passions you once had.

I’ll tell you this, even if you can’t see them, they are there, waiting for your love and attention. Now is the time to make them happen!

If you want to talk about your dreams or need help gaining clarity, please connect with me. I’d love to help you discover and pursue your dreams!

xo, Brenda

Seeing Beyond Your Limits

For sometime now, I have been working on being aware of when I limiting myself, based on what I expect to be possible. You see, we all have of some expectation of what is possible based on our own experience. When these limitations caused me to limit my intentions and thereby my actions, which impact my goals, I realized a new perception was needed.

Where do our expectations derive from?

Think back to when you were beginning to figure the world out. The experiences you had through your own trial and error, those which were imposed on you through your elders and friends, and those which were considered socially normal have impacted how you formed your perceptions of the world. These perceptions created your beliefs system, which then formed the boundaries of possible outcomes that you could easily fathom.

While many of these beliefs are valuable and needed, what I’d like you to consider today is, are any of these beliefs limiting you today in your life?

I’ll give you an example I worked through recently. I love sharing yoga and I enjoy that I get to teach multiple classes per week. I had been dreaming of making some yoga videos to share on the internet so students could practice at home when then wanted and I could share yoga with my family and friends that live across the country. Every time I thought about it, I felt scared that I wasn’t good enough and that people would judge me or my teaching style. The fear really kept me paralyzed in moving forward for some time. I decided to work on it with a good friend and coach I know. Through this, I was able to embody the impact I really wanted to see, to share yoga with even more people, and realized the impact my fears were holding on this actually happening. I had limited myself by not believing in my worth and the value I offered. I worried about judgment of others over my authenticity. Plus I had to learn to trust myself and my abilities now, not in a year or ten.

So I finally did it! I posted my first video in June of this year and have continued with more since then. There were a few realizations I found to be interesting in the outcome of the experience, that I am using to create new beliefs.

1. I am a good speaker.
2. People that I expected judgement from actually showed appreciation.
3. Being authentically me on camera feels amazing and I trust myself even more now.
4. Clients and friends have told me how much they value the online classes.
5. I’ve even taken it to new levels as I grow with these new experiences and created meditations and even talking videos.
6. I have a greater impact on the world when I give myself and my dreams opportunity.

So you know it’s coming… What are you holding yourself back from doing based on what you believe to be true?

Some of these limiting beliefs I have come across in my life and through coaching others may hit home for you:
– Expecting perfection
– Feeling unworthy of more
– Fear of judgments or the unknown
– Not knowing enough
– Feeling to old or young, and
– Trusting of ourselves

Beyond-LimitsWhat would be possible for you if you could overcome those thoughts that limit you?

I’d like you to consider a few new perceptions I work with and how they could help you if adopted in your perceptions:

You are perfect in every moment of every day, exactly as you are.
You are worthy of so much more that you currently allow for yourself.
If you ever feel judged, it’s about them not you. Plus you are really owning your own authenticity, and that rocks!
You will never completely 100% know how something will happen, but you have 100% control over your actions.
You know what you want and that’s enough to get started, you’ll keep learning as you go.
Age is only a number, it’s about how you feel.
The more authentic you are, the more you will trust yourself.

Finally, I’d like to say, our limitations only create suffering. When we limit our dreams, goals, and desires, we limit our full potential. Overcoming the barriers of these limitations will propel you forward and help you live authentically and graciously, as you feel aligned with your truth.

I’d like to help you believe these about yourself. If this article resonates with you, please reach out and connect with me! My goal is to help you experience your life with passion, purpose, and clear perceptions.

Make today a limitless day!
Brenda

PS…if you’re curious to check out some of my yoga and meditation videos, you can find a few on my website and more on YouTube. Thanks!

The Benefit of Our Similarities and Differences

How easily do you notice your similarities and differences to the people around you? We are programmed to see patterns, our brains naturally pick them up. Yet, if we only focus on one side of the pattern we miss something important.

How can our similarities and differences benefit us?

Recognizing the ways in which we are similar can help us not feel ostracized from one another. Over the last 50-60 years, our culture has been cultivating separateness, where we are striving for some ideal that often feels unattainable. Through these aspirations, many people are devaluing each other to climb higher, belittling others to make themselves feel better, or blaming others for their own inequities. Although we will each encounter different struggles or challenges in our lives, we are not all that different. We are all human and have the same needs of survival; food, shelter, clothing, and relationships.

Back in my 20’s when working at a bank in downtown Edmonton, was the first time in my life I noticeably acknowledged so many different types of people. Yet, I an awareness kept popping into my mind about the essence of our similarities, that our physical selves, our needs, were so similar. We are all in this life together. Though we often feel separate because of our individual lives, we all have this thread of connection in our humanity. Through our human connection, we can see that we are all the same. We are all trying our best to make our way through life. When we can see this, the world feels a bit smaller. You can feel closer to people you don’t even know, nor may ever know, but inside can relate to them, even without knowing their personal story.

If we can let go of judgment of one another and recognize our similarities, we can help one another survive, to be better, to do better and create stronger communities.

This is where our differences matter the most.

By noticing our differences, we have an opportunity to encourage each other to offer our unique gifts and talents to the world. Each of us has at least one, if not a few, gifts that are meant to use for the benefit of others. I believe this is our true job; to cultivate our talents, gifts, and strengths by learning and growing with them. Doing this serves our highest purpose and the world around us.

How do we recognize these unique gifts and talents? A while back I read a book called Strengths Finder. In it Tom Rath talked about our innate talents as being those gifts that we do easily that are so natural that we often think everyone can do them as well. It can be surprising when someone tells us that they find that thing we do challenging. These are our windows of opportunity, to learn how to share these gifts. But only through recognizing and acknowledging our differences can we come to value that which makes each of us unique.

When we feel our natural talents at work, it feels good. We are happy. We become fulfilled!

How then, do we keep both of these in mind and not separate ourselves or keep our talents hidden, and instead encourage each other to give our gifts, while remembering we are all doing our very best given what we have learned and experienced so far? One statement stands out to me.

Acknowledge our similarities and value our differences.

Similarities-and-DifferencesBy creating a community culture where we remember that we are all in this together, by letting go of old patterns of judgment, and empowering each other to fulfill our individual gifts, we can lift each other up and feel the goodness that transpires for the whole.

What can you do today to help create this mind shift?

Here’s one idea… When you find yourself or hear someone else judge someone for being different, ask yourself or them, “I wonder what makes that person special that they offer the world?”

Only together can we make this world an even more amazing place to live. Are you with me?

with love and gratitude,
Brenda

Your Power to Decide

Once you have determined that an action is important to you, how do you stick to your decision to do it, especially when it challenges you?

First, it is important to realize the underlying truth of why you need to act on this decision. I remember moments in my life when I knew deep in my heart that I had to do something, even though it seemed challenging or scary to do it. The reason I had to take action was important and in line with what I deeply valued for myself. These kinds of decisions can really challenge us and help us grow. The most life-changing decisions are often the hardest to follow through on. However, if we can remember why it is important to us and what we value about the action, we can fuel our decision-making and follow through.

When we struggle knowing why, we can easy to falter on the decision. Our decision is not connected with our needs nor our will to back it. Here is an example I recently experienced.

I was out for dinner last weekend with family. It was the day after our Easter meal, which I chose to indulged at. Before arriving for our dinner out, I decided I was going to order a salad, because I wanted to feel good about my meal choice, something healthy. I was proud of myself while I enjoyed my salad. It was delicious. Then it happened, one of the children had leftover pizza and did it ever look yummy. In that moment I wavered, right past my inner guidance and my willpower. I had the piece of pizza. Then I went straight for dessert. I fell completely out of my intention. After the meal, I was so full and felt disappointed in myself for my actions.

Reflecting back, here’s what I believe happened.

I was truthful to myself before we arrived, partially. I determined that a salad would be my best meal choice for a healthy meal. I made that decision and stuck to it. But I did not realize the whole truth of what I wanted.

To set myself up for success at the meal, I did not consider the possibility of falling into old habits. One of the children did not finish their meal. I have easily fell into this trap before because of the belief to not be wasteful that is ingrained in me. But I have to remember, how is it my responsibility to ensure all the food is eaten? It is simply not. And I am working on changing this belief, for any meal that is dished up for me.

I faltered on my healthy meal with dessert when I had lost my confidence and gave in to old desires. My power to stick to my decision was lost because I lost touch with my needs.

How could I have succeeded in following my desire for feeling good after a healthy meal?

When driving to the restaurant, and deciding to order a salad, I could have noticed that my true need was to walk out of the restaurant and feel satisfied and energized, by eating a healthy meal from start to finish.

Ironically, a few days later I was at a group discussion. We were talking about decision-making. This is what I walked away with.

The strength of your power Power-to-Decide
to decide is connected to why you have determined it is important to you. If you have a deep connection to this truth you can decide once that it is what you are going to do and use your willpower to follow through.

Can you imagine never having to actually decide again? It can become routine. When you give the decision your full attention and will the first time, you can eliminate the need to make it over and over. Make the decision once and stick to it. Use your will to eliminate how many times you have to make the decision.

Had I heard this before the meal, I could have challenged myself to understand my needs of feeling healthy and energized after the meal and used my willpower to follow through and only have the salad.

This concept of decision-making can be used for specific instances, but what if you are trying to make long-lasting changes to your life-style?

The practice of sticking to small decision can help strengthen your will. Then when you want to take bigger decisions toward change you have confidence in your willpower to draw upon.

A decision fuelled by truth and values, need only be made once for the will to succeed. Tweet this!

Consider this, what is something you have decided to do absolutely every day that meets your needs and you no longer have to decide to do anymore? It became part of your routine through the power to follow through with your decision.

If we can use our power of decision and our will to follow through, then apply it to all of the needs we have been wanting for ourselves, can we overcome the struggles and just do it? I believe we can!

What would you rate your power to decide? How do you feel about your will to follow through?
What have you determined you need, but have not been able to follow through on your decision to actually do it?

Whether it is an everyday routine you are creating or a decision from time to time, you need to use your will to succeed. Decide once and follow through. No more wavering on what you want, determine what is important to you and go do it. It is in your power and only you can.

Here is your chance, let me know how it goes for you!

xo, Brenda

Live Aligned with Your True Self – The Importance of Balanced Chakras

How easily do you listen to your intuition? How does it feel to speak your truth? How grounded do you feel day to day?

The answers to these questions hold a lot of power about how connected we feel to our true self and how we interact with the world around us. When we can easily connect to our intuition, we trust our intentions and actions. When we can share our truth easily and effectively, we express our true self. Feeling grounded can bring a sense of comfort in our physical world.

By connecting with our true self and living in alignment with these and other significant aspects of our lives, we are free to open ourselves to possibility and receive the positive outcomes.

But what holds us back? Fear? Uncertainty? Judgement?

Yes, these and perhaps you can connect with a few more blocks.

We need to find way to clear these blocks, to allow our true selves to shine and to feel at home in our bodies.

There are various ways to help us live aligned with our true self. Much of my work focuses on coming home to our selves through cultivating self-awareness, connecting with the body, and releasing the energy blocks that keep us out of balance.

As a life coach, I focus on helping people connect to what they truly want and move through the obstacles keeping them from living their best life. Through yoga, I guide people to connect with their body with mindfulness, movement, and breath. Another tool I have been using to guide people into soul-awareness and energetic balance is Chakradance. This modality is not as well-known.

ChakradanceThrough Chakradance we are able to connect our body, mind and spirit through mindful movement to music that deeply resonates with each of the seven chakras, and then integrate your experience with creative mandala art.

The chakras are involved in all of our experiences, both in receiving experiences and how we respond. They receive, assimilate, and transmit life force energy from within us and around us. They are connected with our body’s biological system and influence how we interact with the world. It is through our experiences that the chakras can be impacted and imbalanced energy’s may occur.

Our chakras are constantly interacting with our physical body, sending us messages, and following their natural tendency to seek balance. Sometimes, however, energy can become blocked or stuck and it causes disruption to the flow of energy through that chakra. Typically this causes other chakras to over compensate. When this happens we need to help move the energy blocks to bring our chakra system back into balance. Sometimes this can be done through physical movement, other times it is allowing emotion to move or a new awareness to arise.

Chakradance is a healing dance practice that uses spontaneous dance, powerful music, and guided imagery. It is a unique experience for bringing balance into our energetic body, while also exploring our inner world and receiving insights about our lives.

Chakradance is about freedom of expression, encouraging everyone to follow their own natural rhythm. There are no specific steps, so each dancer experiences their authentic movement as they move to the music and accompanied guided imagery. Anyone can Chakradance and receive the benefits of this healing practice. Each time you experience Chakradance you will gain new awareness, invite healing energies to balance your chakras, and open to living aligned with your true self.

It is growing in awareness and is being shared all over the world. I am one of over 300 people bringing this experience to the world! It was created in Australia and has been shared in many influential places such as The Chopra Center. It foundation lays in Jungian psychology and it encourages people to dance for self-discovery and self-healing.

The most important thing we can do for ourselves is find ways to live our best life, to be authentic and give the world all that we have to offer. In order to do this, we need to keep working on finding our truth, healing the old experiences, and stepping into what is truly possible.

Live your true self,

xo, Brenda

If you would like to learn more you can go to my Chakradance page or visit www.chakradance.com. Join us for a workshop and see how Chakradance can benefit you!

A great book on the chakras and a reference for some information provided here is Anodea Judith’s book The Wheels of Life.

Love, the Unconditional Way

February, the month with messages of love, offers a reminder that there is a deep desire within us to feel connection and love in our lives.

Feeling love is part of our innate human experience and one that we all deserve to have. The challenging part I’ve discovered over the years is removing the layers of conditions around this sacred experience to truly feel it. Perhaps you can relate?

Our desire to give and receive love is often sought after by external experiences and solutions to try to get it. But what we truly need to bring our attention to is on the inside. We need to notice when there are conditions placed around that love for first ourselves, then for those around us.

What do I mean by conditions? Perhaps you have had an experience where you feel, “only if ‘x’ happens will I be willing to give love to that person”, or, “only when I do ‘y’ will I be loved”. These are conditions, when we only expect to give or receive love when certain conditions are met.

There are many ways for us to work with removing those conditions and connect to the unconditional love that resides naturally within us. The important thing is that you find what feels safe and best for you.

Personally, in the past, I had layers of conditions surrounding my heart and love. So many that the decisions I made trying to fulfill my need for love often led me astray. I felt like there was a wall around my heart. Over the years I have worked with therapists, shamans, energy healers, and coaches, each offering me new awareness and healing experiences to peel back the layers around my unconditional love. I have also discovered shifts in my feeling of self-love though yoga, dance, meditation, and other activities that get me closer to my true self.

Self-Love

I’ve discovered the easiest way into unconditional love is through self-acceptance and authenticity. When we can love ourselves for who we truly are, the conditions begin to fall away. We come home to our true self.

Then we can share our love with others, as we let go of the conditions we place on them as well, welcoming their authentic self to shine.

Today I feel more connected to my unconditional love. I can feel it in my soul. It takes an ongoing effort to notice when I let old conditional patterns slip in or identify a new one, but with compassion and self-acceptance, I can let them go and get back into the true feeling of love.

Every single person, animal, and plant deserves to feel unconditional love. What will you do today to welcome this love into your life?

I would LOVE to hear from you. Be authentic, be honest, and be true to you.

With Love,
Brenda