Love, the Unconditional Way

February, the month with messages of love, offers a reminder that there is a deep desire within us to feel connection and love in our lives.

Feeling love is part of our innate human experience and one that we all deserve to have. The challenging part I’ve discovered over the years is removing the layers of conditions around this sacred experience to truly feel it. Perhaps you can relate?

Our desire to give and receive love is often sought after by external experiences and solutions to try to get it. But what we truly need to bring our attention to is on the inside. We need to notice when there are conditions placed around that love for first ourselves, then for those around us.

What do I mean by conditions? Perhaps you have had an experience where you feel, “only if ‘x’ happens will I be willing to give love to that person”, or, “only when I do ‘y’ will I be loved”. These are conditions, when we only expect to give or receive love when certain conditions are met.

There are many ways for us to work with removing those conditions and connect to the unconditional love that resides naturally within us. The important thing is that you find what feels safe and best for you.

Personally, in the past, I had layers of conditions surrounding my heart and love. So many that the decisions I made trying to fulfill my need for love often led me astray. I felt like there was a wall around my heart. Over the years I have worked with therapists, shamans, energy healers, and coaches, each offering me new awareness and healing experiences to peel back the layers around my unconditional love. I have also discovered shifts in my feeling of self-love though yoga, dance, meditation, and other activities that get me closer to my true self.

Self-Love

I’ve discovered the easiest way into unconditional love is through self-acceptance and authenticity. When we can love ourselves for who we truly are, the conditions begin to fall away. We come home to our true self.

Then we can share our love with others, as we let go of the conditions we place on them as well, welcoming their authentic self to shine.

Today I feel more connected to my unconditional love. I can feel it in my soul. It takes an ongoing effort to notice when I let old conditional patterns slip in or identify a new one, but with compassion and self-acceptance, I can let them go and get back into the true feeling of love.

Every single person, animal, and plant deserves to feel unconditional love. What will you do today to welcome this love into your life?

I would LOVE to hear from you. Be authentic, be honest, and be true to you.

With Love,
Brenda

Grounded in Possibility

Grounded-in-Possibilities“Plant your feet firmly and let your heart have wings.”

A few years ago I found this beautiful saying on a piece of stone art. It has since sat on my counter so I can receive it’s beautiful message everyday. It has encouraged me through many challenges and new beginnings.

Around the time I bought it, I was embracing some new self-awareness and opportunities. I was riveted by its statement of being grounded and opening to life’s possibilities. Yet over the years, it has given me different messages with its simple words. Here are some of the powerful whispers it offered.

When these words found their way into my life, I had been focusing on my self for about 4 years by seeking personal changes to fall in love with myself again. I had been single for some time and wanted to enter my next long-term relationship knowing who I was, as to not lose myself, and with the intention of finding someone who would compliment me, not complete me. I wanted to create a life together that was even better than we could create on our own.

I planted my feet in my values, my truth, and let my heart have wings to find someone to love, for who they are, and to love me, for who I am.

I was also preparing to take an exciting step into something I loved, by enrolling in yoga teacher training. Yoga had become a constant passion in my life, for how it connected me to my true self. My intention was to embrace those experiences in my life that made me feel whole and grow with them.

I planted my feet in what brought me peace and joy and let my heart fly courageously into expansion and growth.

When I decided it was time to leave my career at the bank, I was not sure where I was going, all I knew was it was time. I trusted that the doors I needed to open would. I was in the middle of my yoga training and longing for a deeper experience in my studies. I was inspired by how yoga was changing me and knew I had more to offer, I only needed to give my self the chance.

I planted my feet in trusting myself and let my heart lift me into new possibilities.

Barely out of the bank, my intuition said my next step was to become a life coach. I was curious about how I could make a difference in people’s lives, knowing my life experiences, challenges, and growth had made such a difference in mine. I took the opportunity to learn more by digging my feet into numerous tele-calls, webinars, and articles. I remember finding the course I would enrol in. That day my heart was soaring in the clouds of happiness and opportunity, while I stood firmly in what was most important to me in this decision.

I planted my feet in my deepest longings and let my heart lead me to the path that connected the essence of my truth and potential.

By now, I had moved across Canada to Nova Scotia from Alberta. I was revelling in the beauty of this new place I called home. I noticed my yearning for new relationships and my eagerness to ingrain myself into my new community. I wanted to grow roots into the soil of my home and connect with the people I would support and who would support me.

I planted my feet in the soil of Seabright reaching deep into the enriched land and let my heart soar over the bay and inland to create connections of trust, joy, and community.

Now here I stand today, feeling the firmness of the ground under my feet, standing tall in who I am, knowing my heart will continue to soar with the clouds bringing me unlimited opportunities, further expansion, and clarity at each juncture. I am grateful for my continued awareness of being grounded in my truth, my needs and desires, while opening myself creatively to the possibilities that life presents.

If you could plant your feet and allow your heart to have wings, how would you stand and where would your heart lead you?

Take a moment to stand with your firmly feet on the floor, close your eyes, and feel your heart. What is it whispering to you today?

Love and light,
Brenda

Live to Learn

“Life isn’t easy” is the old saying, but it does not have to be hard either. It is all in how you perceive it. Are you taking your challenges to heart holding yourself back or sparking your curiosity to fuel your heart towards your most meaningful self?

The struggles we face throughout our lives are not there to cause us harm, they are there to help us grow into an even more magnificent version of ourselves.

Yet we meet new challenges all the time. Sometimes they can feel like we are stuck in quicksand with no chance of recovering. Other times the challenge can feel like a light ocean breeze, with little effort we overcome it. How can there be such a difference?

If your challenges seem easily confronted and overcome, they are simply in alignment with your truth and your values. You know what you want, how to handle them, and can easily do so.

When you come face to face with a challenge, and all you find is resistance, you are given an opportunity. This is your moment to ensure the efforts you are taking are aligned with your values and will help you achieve your own personal greatness. However, it is possible the resistance is showing up to offer a message of new understanding or reveal a possibility that has not been previously considered.

Recognizing the resistance in challenges we face and checking in with ourselves is how we can learn to grow through them. Here is one way you can do this.

First take a moment to notice how you feel and what thoughts are present in the challenging situation. Do you feel good about it or are there any negative feelings showing up? What thoughts are you hearing? Take note of these.

Live to learnThen ask yourself, what is most important in this situation. Are your actions in alignment with your core values?

If your values are being compromised or are not even present in this situation, the resistance is trying to tell you an important message about your actions. You likely need to reconsider your efforts.

If your values are fully recognized and in alignment, and you still notice resistance, check what the resistance really looks like.

What do you believe about this situation? There could be an old belief that needs to be understood and transformed to serve you now in your current situation.

When you can bring awareness to beliefs that hold you back, and learn to work with them, you will notice thoughts and feelings begin to shift. Those that felt negative or unwanted will transform.

A few common beliefs I encounter, in my coaching practice and in myself, that we allow to hold us back are self-doubt, fear of failure and un-worthiness. They usually stem from something that occurred years ago that were meant to protect us, but today they are not needed in the same way. Overcoming resistance is recognizing that these beliefs can shift and change. They are not set in stone. You only need to bring them into your awareness and begin to work with them to create new positive and self-confident beliefs.

When you are in alignment with your values, bringing awareness to what you resist through your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs reveals the growth towards your dreams.

Resistance is the lesson. Overcoming the resistance is the moment of growth. Tweet this!

Life is an evolution of learning, it never stops. It is part of our nature and the more we work with this, the easier life becomes. Plus you get to live your truth!

What lessons have you grown with the most in your life? What resistance are you dealing with?

Please comment with your stories or how this article impacts you. I would love to hear from you!

Do you want help working through your resistance, getting in touch with your values, or something else? Email me for more information about working with me as your life coach.

Thank you for taking time to enjoy this article. If you would like to receive notices of future articles, please subscribe. And please share this article with your favourite media link below!

It’s spring, plant your new seeds of growth and see what is revealed!

with love,
Brenda

Stand In Your Power

Having power is often seen as egotistical. However, we are missing an important part of our self if we continue to hold this belief. The power I am referring to here is your inner sense of power. You could consider it as piece of your self-worth.

The two ends of the personal power spectrum I notice are: we often give our power away or can become overly aggressive with our power by demanding of others. Neither of these are healthy for anyone.

Our power is used in varying degrees and for multiple purposes. Consider how power shows up in your life and impacts your self-worth. Here are some ways to notice your power so you can use it in a healthy manner.

Own it 
Take responsibility for your emotions, your thoughts, and your actions. You have a choice in everything. What ever emotions are impacting you, they are yours. They are for you to work through. No one can do this for you. It is up to you to allow the emotion to move and release. Your thoughts impact your actions, pay attention to them. We may not always be able to control our thoughts, but we can choose which ones we hold. You are the master of your temple, that means your thoughts and actions are yours to manage. Laying blame on someone else or justifying a situation gives your power away. As you learn to own your power you will notice how much control you actually have over your self-worth.

Be Assertive
When we have needs to be met, we may look to others to help meet those needs. This is not a loss of power, however laying blame on others is submissive in power and demanding of others is an overly aggressive use of power. Keeping your power and asking for your needs to be met, while allowing the other person to hold their power is not difficult, it simply takes an assertive and kind demeanour. Acknowledge what you are feeling about the situation and know what you need to ask for, then take into account the other person’s feelings. How will what you need to ask for affect them? By asking for your needs to be met with a kind and loving voice you help keep the power in balance, which also helps in having your needs met.

Do Not Steal the Power of Others
Our kind hearts can often do this without realizing. We simply wish to show appreciation. When someone offers a gift, it has become our nature to feel the need to offer a gift back. Here is an example. When someone offers you a compliment, there are two common responses, both of which steal power. You either discount their compliment, maybe saying “Oh, this old thing”, or you immediately reflect the compliment back at them. When someone offers you a gift, they are doing so in their own power. Allow them to keep it by graciously saying “thank you”.

Set Boundaries
There are numerous situations in life where we can give our power away or demand more than our share. It is up to you to begin to notice them to honour your self-worth and the self-worth of others. We must first become aware of the situations where there is a power imbalance. Then ask yourself, “how will I handle this situation the next time is shows up?”. With anything we are learning in personal growth, it can take time to carry out the new way of being, but recognizing the boundaries of your self-worth is indeed powerful.

Stand in your powerLet’s build a community of balance and respect.

Stand in your power and let others stand in theirs. Tweet this!

What are your takeaways from this article? How would a shift in power impact your life?

Please share your comments and experiences, or send me a private note at brenda@seabrightspirit.ca. I would be delighted to hear from you!

Thank you for taking time to read this article! If you would like to learn more about how working with me can help you stand in your power, please email me.

May your power be with you,
Brenda

Growth from the Edges

Your center, or your true self, which speaks through the inner guide of your gut instincts or your heart’s intuition is always there even when life seems to pull you away from it.

Many of us are focused on finding our center, staying in alignment with our truth, and doing everything possible to not wavering from this place. Then when we do fall away from it, we beat our selves up mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically with shame, guilt, sadness or harm.

There have been many times in my life when I have felt myself waver away from this centered and peaceful place in my being. I have felt angry, confused, scared and at times almost entirely out of touch with my self. But today I know that was okay.

Why?

Because I am human and in finding my way back to my true self, I grew.

Growth in EdgesWe need to experience the extreme edges of our beings, those places that hold vast wisdom to then determine what works for us and what does not. We can discern through our heart, our gut, and our strongest place of inner intuition, exactly what we need, and then shift.

When we pay attention to those difficult moments and wise feelings, we receive the opportunity of personal growth. We can notice what need is not being met through our actions, and begin to make choices that will bring us back into alignment with our center.

Our center is our peaceful home, but our growth is found in the edges, on our way back to our center. Tweet this!

Next time you feel off, try not to fret or cause yourself harm, notice what you need and allow your inner guide to bring you back home.

What is your experience with being out of alignment with your center? Please share your experience.

Thank you for sharing your time with me today. If you would like to receive future articles, please subscribe on the side column.

Do you ever find it challenging to find your way back to your center? I can help you begin to hear your inner guide again so you can find your way back time, and time again. Contact me to explore your possibilities.

Appreciate your edges.
xo,
Brenda

Why Should You?

Our intention with should is often to better ourselves, or make a choice that will benefit others. But what is the essence of should and how does it impact us?

In recent weeks I have been making some important decision for myself and I noticed the word should was often showing up. It was around the second or third decision that I began really hearing what was behind the ‘should’.

First of all, there was justification. The essence of justification is what is right and reasonable. However, in making these decisions for myself, right and reasonable was feeling off. I was telling myself what do to based on beliefs I held about what was best, but it did not feel good. My beliefs were based on old experiences that did not serve me today. By realizing this, I was able to shift my beliefs and step into what is actually right and reasonable for me now.

Second, by ‘shoulding’ myself, I was giving away my power.
Say the word should to yourself now. Does it feel like your own? Not really, hey? When we ‘should’ ourselves into an intention or action, we are not able to own the power of it. It feels forced.

Consider something you have been telling yourself you ‘should’ do for some time now.

Say, “I should do x”… Now try, “I can do x”.

What difference do you notice? Giving yourself the choice of ‘can’ allows you to carry your power into the choice.

But there is more to really find your truth.Why Should You?
As you say you can do something, notice what makes this important to you.
Now, you can also check into the justification of your decision. What do you believe about your choice? Is your decision based on what is right and reasonable for you now?
If there are any beliefs you hold about your choice that do not feel good, you may be holding an old belief that is not serving you today. It is possible to shift those beliefs with awareness, understanding, and action.
Then you can step into the power of what you will do.

With every ‘should’ you say, you give your power away. Tweet this!

The next time you should yourself into a decision, take back your power, turn it into a can, notice your belief about why, take note of any belief you need shift, and then step into what you will actually do.

What is your experience when you ‘should’ yourself into a decision? How will you take back your power?

Please take a moment share your experiences and comments.

Thank you for spending a few moments reading my article today. I hope you take away some powerful awareness for your decision-making.

If you would like to receive future articles, please subscribe on the side column and contact me. I can help you stop ‘shoulding’ yourself.

May the power be in you.
xo, Brenda

Resolve to Be

Before I talk about anything to do with the new year ahead, I want to remind you of one very important thing…

“You are enough, right now, exactly as you are.”

What do I mean by enough?

It means everything you have done right up to this moment is perfect. Your journey up to today has brought you right to where you are supposed to be. All experiences and lessons are part of your great journey in this life.

Now that you understand you are enough, you can look to how you want to grow in the coming year.

The common theme of New Years resolutions often revolves around health and wellbeing. This is awesome and is very needed, but I would like to bring in another concept in this intention setting. It is not only about what you want to do, but about how you want be.

Resolve to BeFor example, if you want to be an early riser, you will go to bed earlier. If you want to be more present, you will ignore distractions that take away your attention.

Here are a few questions to reflect on as you plan your desired way of being in the coming year. Get out a pen and journal, and take your time. Feel free to do it a few times, you may have a few ways of being you want to focus on.

1. What way of being do I want to bring attention to and mould for my highest good?

2. How will that attention impact my wellbeing?

3. What are my challenges to evolve this way of being?

4. What strengths do I have that will help me mould my attention for this way of being?

5. What is my desired outcome in moulding my way of being?

6. How will I continue to accept I am enough, if my desired outcome is not reached, or changes?

Take the important points and put them in a place you will see them often or create some affirmations or mantras to work with each day, as reminders of how you want to be.

When we focus on how we want to be, we purposefully take action on what we need to do. Tweet This!

Every year we evolve, we grow and learn. Remember to allow space for your resolutions to evolve throughout the year. Revisit these questions anytime. What you see as your best intention today, may change as you go about the year.

And remember how you grow, will also be enough.

Please share your ways of being, you may inspire others! I resolve to be courageous.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I hope it gave you something to reflect on as you step into 2015 and your continued journey in highest good.

If you would like to receive new articles, please subscribe at the side. Be sure to contact me if you want some help to you reach your goals in 2015!

As I reflect on 2014, I am very grateful for my connection with all of you. You give me purpose in sharing these articles. Here’s to 2015, creating more connections and helping each other be our greatest self!

Inner peace and joyful love.
Namaste,
Brenda